Leaving On A Jet Plane

by Maggie Sakko

Who's familiar with the long distance relationship?

You know, that thing that never works, is always doomed and is a nightmare from beginning to end for all concerned?

Well, I think I’ve beaten the system.

Beautiful Cape Town

I met my Dutch husband in Cape Town, South Africa in 1999. I was at the tail end of a two year stint away from Australia, and Cape Town was my last stop before returning home.

He was the manager at the hostel I was staying in. Our eyes met. Dancing, flirting and talking followed, and well, I just knew.  I was only there for 5 days, but my departure was worthy of an Oscar – picture me on an overnight bus to Johannesburg, face pressed against the window, listening to the mix cassette tape he’d made me on my Walkman, tears streaming. He, meanwhile, was about to go home to Holland too.

This was me on the bus.
But less Japanese.
And more female.
And crying.

We wrote copious emails to one another for the next year. There were a couple of phone calls too. We then met up again, in Holland this time, for 10 days. We were nervous as hell that with the filter of the time and distance we’d blown this supposed love affair out of all proportion. Scared that we’d meet up and there would be no spark.

We needn’t have worried. After another brief stint apart, where I lived and worked in Ireland (it was supposed to be for a year, but I only lasted four months - the constant rain, drinking and missing him were getting me down ), we returned to Cape Town together, and both worked at the hostel where we’d met.

And we haven’t been apart since.

We had a year in Sydney, followed by 18 months in Holland. By then we had both run out of working holiday visa options, and had to decide where to live. He said he would like to live in Australia. Not Sydney though; Melbourne. I was thrilled.

We’ve been here 10 years now, and it’s been charmed, for the most part. We love it here - the lifestyle, the bigness but also the smallness of it. The fact that there is always stuff going on. Our local community. The great little school our kids go to. Sure, the separation from our families has always been tricky (mine is in Tasmania), but there have been visits, and so far the negatives have always been outweighed by the positives.

Until recently. For the first time in 10 years (a miracle in itself) he’s homesick. And I’m not just talking about missing a particular food, or a friend, or being a bit sad around Christmas time. This is big, proper ‘I-don’t-even-know-exactly-what-I-miss-I-just-miss-it-all’ kind of homesickness. Horrible waves of it, and it’s been going on for weeks.

What to do? Will it pass? Do we ride it out? Do we go back to Holland? Can we leave everything we’ve spent 10 years building here? Do I have the energy to start again? How will the kids go?

So many questions to think about. The answers will reveal themselves over the next few months I suppose. But I’m confident that we’ll make it work, whatever happens. We’ve done it before, we can do it again. It seems that travel will always be a big part of our lives. 

I do really quite like mayonnaise on my chips…

P.S. The hostel in Cape Town where we met was Long Street Backpackers, and it's still going strong. It is a magical place, and at last count had spawned 8 marriages and 15 babies. I highly recommend it.