Spartan Race – Melbourne 6th October 2013

By EB

It’s early on Sunday morning, and I am up making sandwiches and packing drinks. Jerry, my partner in crime, has signed up for the Spartan Race Melbourne Super, and I have agreed to come along as cheer squad.

We pack our gear in the car and head towards Meredith, about halfway between Ballarat and Geelong, near the Brisbane Ranges. As we get closer and start seeing the signs to the location, I can tell Jerry is getting himself psyched up. He is meeting a couple of mates there and just as we are turning off the road into the property, one of them calls. They are there already, and I can hear the excitement (fear?) in their voices.

The car park is actually a paddock. The 14km race route has been constructed over the last 11 days in challenging terrain on a farm. I can see some of the 30+ obstacles as we make our way to the start line, and my thoughts that these people are slightly crazy are reinforced.

We walk underneath one of the obstacles to get to the meeting point, on either side are shipping containers stacked two high, with a ladder up one side, rope netting stretched between them, and a rope netting descent on the other side. Before the competitors are allowed to tackle this challenge, they must shimmy up one of several ropes hanging from the other side of the shipping container tower, and ring a cow bell at the top. If they fail to complete this or any other obstacle, they must do 30 burpees before being allowed to continue. To complete one burpee, one must do a push up, and then immediately jump up into a star jump. I see a lot of people doing a lot of burpees during the morning.

The lads decide to start in an earlier heat than planned, so they take off to the start line. And away they go! A bit over two hours later, they cross the finish line; sweaty, muddy, exhausted and exultant. They are officially Spartans! They are rewarded with a medal, an exclusive finisher’s tee shirt, and a beer. They are triumphant, but I fail to see how this is a fair exchange for over two hours of self induced pain. I get to see The Commando in the flesh though; maybe I got a better deal than they did!