In order to experience the sheer
quirkiness of Melbourne culture, it’s as simple as sitting yourself down on
public transport and observing your surroundings.
I’ve been a
perpetual user of the Melbourne public transport system for as long as I’ve
lived in this fair town. The odd tram or train trip isn’t infrequent for
somebody who lives inner-city and doesn’t have a driver’s license let alone a
car. During this time I’ve been compiling a repertoire of quizzical, perplexing
and utterly hilarious experiences. Why, just this morning during my usual
Monday morning trip into the city, the first thing I laid eyes on was an
upright yet unconscious man holding a guitar. He became my new hero then and
there.
The 67 tram
and I shared a remarkable escapade together: a man spoke to me for half an hour
about how I would make the perfect mother for his baby when the fact of the
matter was that he was pushing around a baby born in a pram.
One
particular evening on the Sandringham line, somebody asked me to turn down my
iPod because their dog didn’t like the music I was listening to. Right after I
laughed out loud he demanded I apologize. To his dog.
A real life Agnes Skinner told off
her son who looked to be about thirty for glancing in my direction at
Yarraville train station and I witnessed an individual have a near-breakdown
when he both missed the 16 tram travelling up the Esplanade. When the next tram
came he got off at the very next stop.
The next
time somebody stands up on the train and begins to serenade the passengers with
a Wu-Tang Clan song, write it down. People find that sort of thing pretty
amusing.
By Sid Shaw
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