Wednesday, 16 October 2013

Beyond forgiving - Reconciliation conversations

 By Victoria B.

The journey to reconciliation is encountered in both public and private spaces, requiring on some level the process of forgiving.

What does forgiving mean, and how can we nurture it in the face of extreme pain and suffering and the desire for ‘justice’ through vengeance? On Wednesday 2 October 2013 a group of 40 or so people came together to explore answers to these questions.

The South African film Beyond Forgiving formed the context for the conversation. This film won the Golden Award for Inspiration at the International Film Festival for Peace, Inspiration and Equality (IFFPIE). It tells the inspiring story of two South Africans who bring healing and reconciliation to post-apartheid South Africa. 


http://www.uk.iofc.org/Films-to-watch/Post-Apartheid-Beyond-Forgiving


“Ginn Fourie and Letlapa Mphahlele form an unlikely team: a black atheist man and a white Christian woman. One has suffered directly from the actions of the other - both have been victims and risen beyond their pain. What brings them together is a profound story of both tragedy and hope.
In 1993, during the Apartheid decades, Letlapa, then director of operations for the military wing of the Pan-Africanist Congress ordered reprisal massacres in response to the killing of black school children. Ginn lost her only daughter in one of these. She later forgave Letlapa. In the film, he says this touched something deep inside and restored his humanity.
The film tells of the journey they undertook to help their country, which suffers from the world's highest crime level in this post-Apartheid phase. Through their work, they try to bring a new spirit of community and forgiveness, in their country and beyond.”
Letlapa talks of how until his meetings with Ginn he had demonized the other side. Ginn talks about how she had expected to meet someone evil, but Letapla had taken full responsibility for his actions, thus starting her on the journey of forgiveness, and making of her ‘a wounded healer’, overcoming ‘the inalienable right to vengeance’.

One person in the discussion group, a prominent Australian writer, talked about the primal rage of the parent in defence of their child, and how after many years he carried the same anger towards the bully who had permanently damaged his child’s life. How do you overcome it? Another, a young South African living in Australia, talked about his pain that, in his weekly footy matches, an opponent would not forgive him for some injury he accidentally caused, in spite of his apologies. How do you move forward when you are not forgiven?

Both in the film and the evening’s discussion, the importance of storytelling in the process of healing was emphasised.It was agreed that sharing stories brought healing, that forgiving must be mutual and that power changes hands in the process of healing. It was clear that every person present at the discussion held within them personal stories of conflict and the challenge of reconciliation.It was agreed on the evening that public forgiveness and reconciliation requires institutionalised steps to support change.

The discussion was facilitated by Professor Paul Komesaroff, Exec. Director of Global Reconciliation, and organised by Mohan and Daya Bhagwandas, from Initiatives of Change. This is the first of a series of events planned to promote dialogue towards awareness of healing processes within Australia and particularly amongst the Australian Sri Lankan diaspora. The meetings will be held at Initiatives of Change Melbourne home, Armagh.

Global Reconciliation and Initiatives of Change are two global organizations coming together in partnership with friends and members of the Australian Sri Lankan diaspora to promote reconciliation processes in Sri Lanka.

Initiatives of Change (IofC)is a world-wide movement of people of diverse cultures and backgrounds, who are committed to the transformation of society through changes in human motives and behaviour, starting with their own. Global Reconciliation (GR)is an international network of people and organisations seeking to promote communication and dialogue across national, cultural, religious and racial differences. 

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